Have you experienced frustration when trying to get healthier, lose weight, and gain strength? I know I have. On hard days, that frustration can tempt you to overeat or stay inactive. On worse days, you may feel hopeless and want to give up entirely.
What drives that struggle? What bridges the divide between successfully reaching your goal and giving up?
I’ve found time and time again that it comes down to mindset.
Humans are creatures of habit, and we often think of habit exclusively as things we DO. But the doing starts with thinking, and we may not even be aware of the reflexive thoughts and assumptions that are holding us back from reaching our optimal health.
These unrealistic expectations, aka “failure mindset” can impede your path to your goals and to better health.
What the failure mindset can look like:
- Wanting the 6-12 month result now or to lose double digit pounds per week
- Forgoing a balanced nutrition plan and relying on workouts alone to change your body composition
- Not being fully aware that obstacles and missed opportunities are a given
- Not having a contingency plan for these obstacles
- SImilarly, being prepared to forgive yourself for mis-steps and kindly re-connect with your purpose for change
Unrealistic expectations look like:
- going to the gym for a week or two then quitting when you don’t see an immediate difference; this happens for many people at the beginning of each year.
- making an unplanned unhealthy food choice and saying “I screwed up so screw it” for the rest of the day/week/month.
- by the same token, an “all-or-nothing” mindset. Work out 5 days a week or none; never eat sugar again or eat way too much of it; neither approach is sustainable.
The biggest danger of unrealistic expectations is that they set you up for failure by robbing you of the very consistency needed for great results. Sidestep the failure mindset with honest awareness.
Here’s what to expect on the way to your goal:
- A marathon, not a sprint. Good health is for life, not just 2 weeks or months or years from now. It truly takes time to develop the mindset and the lasting healthy habits that follow.
- Freeing yourself from the scale. A scale is a sentence in the story. It’s a tool that can show some progress, but blood work results, energy level, body composition (lean vs. fat mass), movement quality, and overall feeling of well-being are all fitness components MUCH more important than that number.
- Mis-steps happen. A mis-step is simply an unplanned detour from the path to your goal(s). Everybody has different ones depending on what the goal is. If your goal is to eat two servings of vegetables three times a week, and you miss two days, figure out where it went sideways; maybe your goal was unrealistic for that week. The antidote is to decide on and implement a plan. How can you improve, and what will you do next time? Maybe you decide to aim for one small thing during the week, and work your way up to more from there.
- It’s uncomfortable. Healthy change isn’t without discomfort, and not just the physical aspect. You’re becoming more aware of your body, but you’re not yet where you want to be health-wise, and that’s an uncomfortable space to live in. It won’t be sunshine every day, and you’ll have solid days, harder days, and best days. When it feels tough, you can recognize the discomfort is part of the process and free yourself to keep going toward success.
I want you to treat yourself kindly when you make choices out of line with your goals…and then get right back up and take control of what you want to do for your health!
Do couple of stretches or take a mindful deep breath. A small action re-orients your path. Call a supportive friend or text your coach. Drink water. Eat a vegetable at your next meal. Figure out a healthy behavior that you can do next.
Be honest and present. You are absolutely worth your best possible health!
The most important moment in your journey is the very next moment when you can choose what to think and do. Be in that moment and turn toward what you really want.