Life = change. In 2016, I went through the most dramatic shift of my life, to motherhood when my son was born.
I may be an expert when it comes to health, fitness and behavior change, but even the adjustments that come with pregnancy never could have prepared me for what was to come. The magic and exhaustion that are caring for new life hit hard, especially since my baby wasn’t keen on sleeping very far away from his mama, or for long stretches. I’ve worked closely with pre-and-postnatal moms for years, but nothing could have prepared me for the fragmented sleep and 180 degree shift in focus. The first steps to motherhood, pregnancy and birth, are relatively easy. It was the utterly jarring lifestyle change afterward that hit me personally like no force I’d ever experienced.
Lifestyle shifts are HARD. Over the years, I’ve observed many others in their first steps to healthy change. Using weight loss as an example, oftentimes, we want to instantly weigh less or go back to what we used to look like. There’s a deep emotional motivation we have for looking good and in turn, feeling good. This is especially true within American culture, in which a polished and even flawless outward appearance is highly prized. What happens when this real desire meets a sudden realization that one is NOT where one wants to be health or looks wise? We may want to “push a button” for that immediate result, and we can’t possibly achieve it, so we mentally and emotionally “flip the switch” and over-commit to change. We’ve all seen this over-commitment happen each January. The motivation is truly there, but it’s only temporary. Real, sustained change takes time and ongoing effort, with the understanding that the change we want can only be sustained by consistent and realistic commitment. Otherwise, most of us are beyond our human capacity to adjust and we set ourselves up to fail. Over-commitment feels good in the moment because it meets the emotional need for some kind of change that we want or know we need. But it’s not sustainable.
How can we set ourselves up for success? Adjust the intensity of any health behavior change to a level truly do-able for you. Take it one step at a time, and maintain flexibility along with your consistency. I know that can be challenging for those of us who want the instantaneous result, but it’s worth it in time to ease into a healthier lifestyle. The shock of intense change is rarely effective.
So if you’ve started once or twice or twenty times to work toward a health goal and stopped, ask yourself why it didn’t work before. It may be because it was just too intense given your circumstances. Maybe you need more resources to achieve your goal, like expert help and social support. Slow the pace, and be kind to yourself.
No better example of this than bringing new life into the world. Healthy change is wonderful and stressful, and we can engineer our own success by moving one small step at a time, on any given day, at a pace that’s sustainable.
“It’s better to go slowly in the right direction than go speeding off in the wrong direction.” – Simon Sinek